Tinker Myself

Stop existing start living

Need to choose a school…

Then read my latest post on http://www.mycity4kids.com. If you like it don’t forget to follow me.

Check this out…

http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/force-feeding-and-forced-learning/article/this-school-or-that-school-a-multiple-choice-question

 

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Try Whispering…it works:)

You all have tried so many things with your child, screaming, shouting,scolding, pampering, rewarding, hugging. Now try whispering….. when a child is not ready to listen to you,don’t shout at them, just breathe in and go to your child and whisper in her ears. I have discovered this recently and it really works. I was shocked, when my screaming, shouting and scolding didn’t work. This soft whispering in her ears showed wonders.

Give it a try you will be amazed by the result. Next time you want to get something done from your child just whisper it…:)

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Mummy and Daddy I love you.. come to me when I ask you…:)

A child develops magically during the first year. The magic can be felt by the mother before birth itself, from a dot to a baby. But this magic can be felt by father after the child is born. This small bundle of joy is ready to fill your life with happiness. As they say you can’t teach a child you can learn from them.

A child gets connected to you very well in the initial years than later years. So, if you want a deep bonding with them connect with them from the starting. A child after birth till 2 years grows rapidly. There is end number of changes coming in a child. It is purely magical to see the developments in a child. Why one should miss on this magical journey. When this is a joint effort, the reward should also be enjoyed by both of you.There was”Survey conducted by Neilson In association with Pampers”which tells that 80% of dad’s want to help mother’s but they don’t know how to do it. During a #Pampers Meet we got to know how Father’s are helping in baby care. There are many ways to help a child and mother just have a look around and you will find your way to help her out.I will say why not start with changing #Pamper diapers…:). The time is changing and both parents are joining hands in taking up the responsibilty.

This time is never going to come back in your life. Cherish it, enjoy every moment. They won’t repeat any action they are doing right now. Both of you spend a little time with this bundle of joy and they will take away all the tension away from your life. They will only leave you smiling. It take two of you to bring them to life, it takes two to raise them.One simple act of changing diapers or feeding your child, taking them out on a walk. Anything and everything will leave behind a memory for your lifetime.

Join hands in this beautiful journey, you are bound to get end number of surprises everyday. One day they will lift their head and smile back at you, sometime they will roll over, sit, walk, talk, eat and sleep. Whatever they do in their own way, they don’t know how to speak and they will make you also speechless.

So, don’t worry how much time you can spend with them. Just insure that you give your quality time to them. Because they don’t have memory, but you have it, and you will never be able to forget these moments in your life. It’s the time to be cherished. So enjoy it.

Pampers’ campaign #ItTakes2 is aimed to spread the same message to bring up a happy and independent child. The responsibility is on both of you. Don’t forget that a child always says Mummy and Daddy I love you, come to me when I ask you, Give me a kiss when I ask you. Mummy and Daddy I love you. A child loves both of you. Then why we give them half love. They don’t need only mother’s love, they want their papa’s love also.

If you liked it don’t forget to follow me..you can also follow me on http://www.mycity4kids.com

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Let’s change the name from Homework to HOME INVOLVEMENT…

First of all I personally don’t like a child to be burdened with too many things, like studies, extra activities. I am of an opinion that a child should be let free to absorb what the nature is offering, let the child enjoy it’s time. Learning is happening everywhere whether your child is succeeding or failing, whether getting entertained or bored.They are learning. So, forget the concept that a child is learning in the school only, then I feel we should trust the school, the teacher involved, and change the word HOMEWORK. As this word is doing more harm than benefit to your child. As soon as you tell this word your child gets scared. She feels now playtime will end. I will be scolded for my wrong answers. I will have to sit in one place and write.

So, try this trick change the name for yourself and go through the homework that a child has got during the time when they are playing. Just go through it what the subject is trying to offer. Then discuss it with your child during their jolly mood, while they are playing, don’t let them feel that you are judging or teaching them.

Homework is not meant to scare a child it is meant to improve a child. You come to know what is going on in the class, where your child needs improvement. Education system is coming up with the change to reduce the amount of homework in a child’s life. As you all know the best school is your home for the child, then how can you expect the child to exceed without being aware in this school called home. It is OK if your child doesn’t know any one particular concept. Homework tells you what your child likes, and how you can build interest in the areas, she doesn’t like.

The problem arises because we are not ready to accept the fact that our child is not good at something. We feel they should exceed in everything. Which is humanly not possible. Have we exceeded in everything, let us ask this question to our self. So let’s change the perspective and try to understand the real meaning of HOMEWORK. It is the involvement that the school, teachers are looking from mother and father towards the betterment of their child.

So, the earlier you start the better results you will get. Learning is an ongoing process, which requires constant involvement basically from the student, then parents and then the school. Let’s try to make learning fun for a child. Don’t stress a child with what they don’t like, start with what they like. The way you do with food, if they don’t like milk you give them milkshake, but you don’t stop giving them milk, you just change the form.

Same way give them a different approach to learn, but don’t stop zeal to learn in order to finish the homework. Homework is not meant for it. It is meant to give your child happiness and knowledge. So change the word to HOME INVOLVEMENT and share your experience. Studying might not be fun all the time but learning surely is. Help your child to learn better by trying to be involved in the process, instead of leaving them all alone. Learning process is a triangle: child, house and school. None of the sides can be ignored. So change the name and see the difference.

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Are you a half mother?

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This might sound strange to you, that how can I be half mother, I am a mother to my child and I love her so much. Yes you are the mother and you love your child unconditionally, but still don’t be a half mother.

For a child mother and father both mean a lot. A child gets life because of both of you. It can never be possible that only a mother can do or father can do it. So, give equal opportunity to both of you to be a mother and father. Whatever a mother does for a child father should also do, and whatever father does a mother should do.

We need to change the mentality of people that father has come from office, so he needs to relax. Mother also comes from office what if she relaxes, who will look after the child. It doesn’t matter whether a mother is working or not. Because all mothers are working 24/7. so there is no concept of working or non working. whom you call as housewife their office is home and they are working from their home and their maids are their employees of whom they take care and get things done from. Those mothers who are going out to work are handling no less a pressure from that father’s are experiencing. So, lets start sharing the load and divide the work.

We need to work towards the equality of the gender. We need to stop the gender debate that which sex is superior. There is no such concept as superior sex, we can’t exist without each other. So, no one is superior and inferior. We have to bring in the change and help the coming generation to live at par with each other, by sharing the workload. We need to educate our daughters in such a way that they are able to help in all the situations, it should not be the sole responsibility of fathers to earn the living. And we need to make our boys capable enough to manage the household stuff.

If we are able to manage each others job and respect what  each of us do life becomes a lot more peaceful. So, lets bring the change and stop being half mother and half father, share the responsibly of child equally among each other. A child is not sole property, she is a joint property. She loves and enjoys your company, so share the load and share the joy.

Parenting is not burdensome it is joyful….

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Should a mother restart her work or not?

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Once a baby comes in your life, your life changes. This is what everybody tells you and it is true. We feel too concerned about what we are doing why we are doing. Before we do something lot of questions come to our mind. A mother is always cautious about her child, and if you are a working mother it becomes tougher.

First thing make up your mind that you want to get back to work. If you have decided that you are going back to work. Work towards the arrangements. As where the child will be, how will you manage when the child is sick. Who is going to take care of the child. You want to involve your parents or in laws or want to take professional help that is a daycare. I feel daycare is a better option as you have someone who is answerable to you, and you can always question back.

Then look for your work timings you want to work full time or part time, from home or office. Sit with your husband and make the agenda very clear to him, as the child is not only your responsibility it is of your husband too and both should share the responsibility equally. Talk to him on all the points as he will play an important role. Take help don’t try to multi task as when you are going to restart your work  you will be stressed and exhausted. So take help where it is required.

Once all the points are looked into, take a deep breath and relax. Plan your tomorrow today once you start working. Try to finish your planning for the next day in the night itself so that your morning is little relaxing and you are not lost from where to start, specially the meal time of your child, what child will carry with him, what is needed at home and what is required at daycare. Plan it and execute it in the morning.

Once you start working don’t feel guilty that why you have taken up a job, you are not able to give time to your child. You are leaving your child to strangers. Just remember that the amount of time in your child’s life doesn’t matter what matters is the quality time. So, what ever time you spend with her just be happy and love her. And remember a child is learning from everyone so the company matter, and child learns from life, so let her learn what life is teaching. So, don’t feel upset and guilty if you leave your child and go. Just insure they are in the safe hands. A child is an explorer and they like to explore everything, everybody. Let the child live and enjoy.

If a mother is happy child will be happier, so if your work gives you happiness do it, it will only make your child more happy but if it gives you stress and leaves you unhappy don’t do it. So see what you want and stick to your decision rest everything will fall into its place.

Get back to work and live your life.

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Trust the mother in you and have faith in your child.

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Now a days parents get confused with what others say about their child. A parent should be aware about their child’s capabilities. Either they are not aware or they are expecting too much from them.As a parent your basic responsibility is to provide a stimulating environment to the child, let the child enjoy and feel excited about what you are offering, whether food, or knowledge if the child is not ready to receive there is no point in offering.

As a mother you must have faith in yourself and your child. A child connects to love and trust, If we show them the trust and faith they work towards it. So no matter what others have opinion about your child. You must have full confidence in your child and give an unconditional love.

Our job is tough we need to give unconditional love but at the same time need to lay a boundary also to it. As they don’t know what is good for them but we know the facts. So don’t worry what others tell you, just pay attention towards your observation.

To inculcate the right ethics is more important. Few days back I was reading a piece of information that in Japan during the primary years the schools work on a child’s manners.

It is very important, there is no need to hurry to grow your child, let them blossom. Relax they will learn everything, you  just need to be their right support who is their there to encourage and motivate. They will themselves overcome their hurdles but they need you to be by their side.

Don’t forget they are a part of you but still they have their own existence. Just handle them responsibly. What ever they are, what ever they do is a reflection of you, so before correcting them just check within you. It will become easier for you. As children don’t like to be preached they follow your actions.

So just relax trust your mother instinct and have faith in your child.

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White sauce pasta

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One of my favorite recipe is white sauce pasta. So, thought of sharing with all of you.

Ingredients

Pasta 1 cup of your choice

1 small onion finely chopped

1 tsp green chilly finely chopped

coriander finely chopped for garnish

2 tablespoon butter

3 tablespoon white flour(maida)

300 ml milk

salt and black pepper to taste

Method:

First boil pasta in 4 cups of water add salt and oil to the boiling water and then add pasta.Once the pasta is boiled strain it.Now add 1 tsp of oil add add chilies and onion and saute it then add butter, salt to taste and flour, you do’t have to cook white flour much just a little saute and then add 300 ml of milk.Keep whisking the mixture will start becoming thick. This is the time to add pasta. Toss it garnish with coriander leaves and black pepper. And it is ready to be served.

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Are you a mother of a fussy eater???

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Yes, it is very important to see what your child is eating, when is she eating and how is she eating. Healthy eating habits have to inculcated in the child from the very starting. It is not an easy job to feed a child and on top of it if she is a fussy eater, you know how hard it gets.

It is very important for a child to intake food at regular intervals, dry fruits, milk, curd, proper meal which should include lentils, rice, chapatis, salads.

Now the tricky question comes as if the child is not ready to eat. In such case change the way the food is presented to them if they don’t like certain item disguise it. Suppose a child doesn’t like vegetables disguise them by blending it and kneading it in the chapati dough.The whole idea is to give nutrition to the child, how it is presented can always be changed and experimented.

If the child doesn’t like milk, change the milk into milkshake of different colors, freeze the milk with different items and colors and present as ice lollies.

A child doesn’t like chapati change it into shapes or smilies.

One more way send the fussy item in her school tiffin box, kids respect and love their teachers and friends. They always want a star and good comments from them. They will finish it there or at least will start accepting the food that they refuse at home.

Just be patient with your child, keep giving her the right nutrition by changing form, but never compromise on he nutrition value. Give her a juice but make sure it is from fresh fruits.

Give her sugary items but try to make it at home so that you how much sugar you have added so that you can keep a track, instead of sugar substitute it with honey or jaggery.

Feed their brain when they are young give them healthy eating habits from the starting. Once they grow it is way to difficult as they develop their own taste and thinking.

Just a little trick, experiment with food and lots of patience is the ladder to success for motherhood.

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Children are your life but they have their life too…

Two caucasian and two african American children playing together

Every parent I meet or even when I see deep within me, I feel how possessive we are about are kids. We are actually not letting them grow. We want them to be close to us. We want to monitor their activity, guide them at  every moment. But I feel we are not doing the right thing to our children whether in their tender age or when they grow up. We need to learn to let go.

We need to let go our kids, to be independent. We need to allow them to make mistakes. We are too careful as we have a single child or at the max two. We are monitoring them always. It is hampering their growth. We need to mold are children in a way that even if we are not around they can survive. They don’t need to look for someone’s support, teach them to be independent.

Learn to take a back seat. Once you feel you have done your job as a parent take a back seat. Sit back relax leave your children alone, don’t interfere in their decisions. Don’t be over cautious. Life  is a journey, we need to keep learning in it. Just move on with the flow. Trust yourself.  Trust your teachings, that your child will be good.The foundation that you laid is strong don’t worry too much.

When kids grow up we start being demanding with them. They have their own life, their own troubles, don’t impose your troubles on them. Be available to them in time of need but don’t depend on them.

Your child is an independent soul, you are a source for her to come in this world. Nurture her talents, be her friend, tell the best of the things, enjoy every moment with them, but don’t be a burden to them. Everybody has only one life  and everyone has only one moment let them enjoy that.

They are a part of your life not your life, live life happily. Always remember children are your life but they have their own life too. Whether your child is infant, kid, teenager or an adult, they have their own choices, they have their own life. respect their life and they will respect yours. Be a guide to them not a stick which is always sticking around.

They want your suggestions and not your judgement. So respect your role and understand the importance of your own life. Your life is above anything else. Your child changes your life and you change her life. So handle it carefully!!

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