Tinker Myself

Stop existing start living

Let kids remain kids


Just look around we have so many different things happening. If we don’t do something we feel guilty. The overdose of options available to a parent leave a child exhausted. We have so many things coming up for children that it is difficult to decide what to do and what not to do. A general tendency that I see among parents is that how much they say that they agree to the fact that their child is different, they don’t agree to the fact that their child is different. They always want their child to do everything that other children are doing. We are in a rat race and we are sending our children also into it.

Each child should get the right stimulus at the right time. They should get an opportunity to explore different activities. But exploring different things doesn’t mean that they excel in it always. Every child is unique and they have their own likes and dislikes. Give them opportunities without labeling them. With expectations from them. Let them enjoy the activity. Whether it is art, craft, singing, dancing, sport, instrument. They can’t excel in everything, but they can enjoy everything.

Keep life of your child as simple as possible. Turn back to your basics. A child is a child, they will grow and mature at their own time. Let them enjoy this beautiful journey called childhood. Just for few proud moments or a few claps and cheer don’t bring down their pride.

Today’s children are a lot more capable and mature. We need to accept the fact and try to give them safe and healthy environment. Let them relax, let them enjoy, let them be happy and above all let them be a kid. It’s time for us to mature, not for them.

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Whenever I feel confused or low and think calmly, I realize that the only thing which is helping this world exist is trust. It is the trust which keeps us going. 

It also shows that how important it is to be responsible to be trustworthy. Time and again people play with your trust, they test you but still we need to move on and stick to our basics.

I am writing this because recently I have got to see that people are loosing trust easily. It is basically due to over supply of the resources and due to half knowledge about the product. Due to easy access to internet we feel we know everything, whereas it is not the case. We need to rely on the expertise of the other person have faith, have patience and above all have trust in them.

Dissatisfaction is growing immensely today. I feel there is a lot to do because of lack of passion towards what you are doing. If you love and enjoy what you do, there is no force which can pull you behind in  giving out nothing but the best. People are getting bored too early and loose interest in what they do. Stick to your plan, give time. Magic is just an illusion, magic don’t exist. It is pure hard work, planning and commitment that gives results.

People keep changing schools due to distrust in the policy of the school, teacher. Before taking a decision do an in depth research. After that take a back seat and relax for sometime. We are all educated and have knowledge and resources to explore. Use them and then trust that the other person will not harm you.

When I speak about trust, I firstly mean TRUST YOUR OWN SELF. Trust your intuition, don’t give it a deaf ear. It has all the answers, just pay attention and trust your inner voice. You will never go wrong. Believe in yourself is the way towards success.


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Do it at the right time

Timing for doing anything and everything is very important. If we do the right things at the right time the possibilities of success are not guaranteed but definitely more. Same holds true with education or learning.

The best knowledge to give a child is at her younger age. The more stimulus we provide to the child at smaller age we make them more confident and provide with them lot of free time once they grow up.

I feel that in smaller age the focus should be laid on music, arts and dance as these skills are quite important for the grown ups to keep them sane. Whenever we are stressed out and we indulge in any of these activities it helps us to revive. And when i say it is better to introduce them at younger age is because they have lot of time and energy. as they will start growing up the focus will shift towards studies and we have to provide right stimulus to develop it. By the time they grow up they have developed a love for the art form. Which will help them throughout their life. Our main focus towards a child should be to enjoy the stimulus that we provide them and not make them professional in that. The soul idea is the type of seed we sow we get the same plant.

Professionalism will come later in life once they grow up and really eager and passionate about it. Once a child is 6 years of age she should be encouraged to choose a sport in which she excels. Outdoor sports are very important for children nowadays not to win medals for the country but to keep their health intact.

And once the child is close to 10 years of age focus should be towards studies, right inputs should be given to keep the interest level high. Experiments, Abacus, Robotics are just to name a few.

So if you start at the right time the right thing the chances of better results are expected. To make it clearer a child has developed a flair for ARTS, the expertise will keep improving as she grows. With the exposure to SPORTS her body is fitter which will help to handle the stress in the coming years with STUDIES, and right exposure makes them achieve the goals much easily.

So, the earlier we start it is a more healthy start.

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Technology good or bad

Our generation is a gadget freak generation. Technology is no more luxury to us it is a part of our society, part of our existence. Then how justified is it’s use for children especially small children. Young children below 4 years are simply imitating their elders and learning from imitation. they want to talk like us, walk like us, work like us. So, when they see us using our gadgets so sacredly they get attracted towards it all the more. And what keep them pulling towards it further is not allowing them to use it. They want to explore it as they see it everyday, but they are not allowed to, once they get access towards it they don’t want to let it go. As they don’t get it easily.

So, what should we do? What is right? According to me the use of excess technology is not good for smaller children as their brain is developing. We should try to provide as much as hands on experience as possible. But considering the fact that technology is no more remote and is part of our lifestyle. We have to provide them the right access. If they are apps it should be age appropriate, if they are watching TV again content should be considered.

It is very easy to say that they should not be allowed to watch screen. But it is quite difficult for those parents who are lively alone. Technology is breather for them as the child needs full time attention and change. It is not quite easy to to be active with them always. I agree to the fact that the screen time should be minimum as possible. But if your child is watching for some time there is no harm.

The child should be exposed to outdoor activities, free play, physical activities. No other mode can teach a child as much as a human interaction. The more a child is exposed to people, the more she will learn.

Always remember children are creating memories every moment. Just remember what you want to be in their memories. Let technology help you not overtake you. It is a human who created not the otherway round. So, nothing can take your place. It is just a time out for you. It is for you to feel a little relaxed and come back. So, use it that way and don’t worry. A mother won’t be wrong for her child. Trust your instinct and everything will fall into place.

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0-6 years

The age bracket of 0 to 6 years is very crucial. We have been hearing many people telling this. It is actually true also. If you closely observe a child he reaches so many milestones during these years. He learns to walk, talk, think, write, dance, sing, memorise. Probably in the later years the child is just brushing up the skills that he has learned in the initial years. For example we learn to talk and in the later years we just improve vocabulary. We learn to walk and then we master the skill of running. We learn to ride and then we learn to ride different vehicles.

So it is basically the skills that we acquire during these years that we keep improving in the later years. And still we don’t understand the importance of these years.

A child is ready to learn but we are not ready to teach as we think he is still a child and then when they grow up they don’t have the willingness to learn and we keep teaching. We have to tap them in the right age. During this age they have not developed the understanding of right and wrong. So, we can supply them what is right. Later when they will develop their own taste they will reject us. They won’t accept the facts as they have their own logics.

Children are much more mature now a days as compared to previous generation. Exposure to technology, readiness of resources, time from parents has made them intelligent and mature. Therefore the importance of these crucial years has increased further.

If you want to see the change don’t work with the old, they have their own built up school of thought. They won’t change, if we want to see the change we have to work with the kids, as they can bring the change.

Whatever mental nutrition is given at this age will stay with them for lifetime. Food also plays a very important part here. Balanced diet, healthy food, less sugar, oil, preservatives will help develop strong brain. Nature gives us so many clues but we leave them unattended. As the nature rules child learns so many thing without being taught, then imagine if he is given the right direction where can the same child reach. Every child has this capability and it is scientifically proven. Example we don’t teach our native language but still he picks it up with the same flair and accent as it is spoken. They don’t pick up the second language in the same way because it is not natural because it is being taught. This is nature. Things will happen, so lets try to make them happen in a better way.

This stage 0-6 years is a willing stage. children are willing to learn. Teach them whatever you like if it will interest them they will take it up later otherwise they will enjoy now  and will have it in their memory. Don’t wait for tomorrow. This is the best time to be with them. Teach them, later they will teach us and make their own rules.

So set your parameters straight and don’t wait for another day. They are not just children they are individuals who will have their own identity and personality. Try to build a strong and appealing personality. Start working on it from today.

All the best!

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As we all know patience is the key to success. It is also applicable in the case of motherhood. As mother’s we are tied up with so many chores in the daily basis that we tend to get irritated on ourself and our child. Whereas we know that this impatience, irritation will not lead to anything. It will only cause problem to us and our child. The only solution to enjoy the fruit of parenthood is patience.

As in the case of investment you get results after a certain time same is the case with a child. You won’t get anything by rushing. All the milestones, all the sweet moments will take there own sweet time. We just need to wait patiently.

What best we can do to stimulate our child is by giving right stimulus at the right time. We have to check that we are providing them with the right material and not something that is obsolete for them. A very small and easy example giving child a walker before he has learned to walk and not after he has achieved it. Otherwise it is of no use to her. Same way give them reading material before they start reading, so that they develop the urge to read, and once they have learned to read they will start enjoying the activity.

Things will happen when they are bound to happen, as walking, talking, falling of teeth, mental development. What we can help with is make this journey beautiful for them,everyone knows that even if we don’t do anything things will happen. But if you give right inputs the results will be beautiful. And we all want beautiful results in the form of our beautiful child.

So lets develop beautiful kids patiently. Wait, listen, cool yourself, take time out for yourself. As we are not superhuman, we are human we do get tired, irritated. Don’t feel bad about it. If once in a while you scold your child its fine. You have not done any parenting blunder. But don’t make it a habit. As it is not just harming you it is a damage to a bud who is yet to become a flower. Try to control your emotions. Accept that you made a mistake and move on. Your child will forgive they are too tender and small to store everything.

So just enjoy the colours they are spreading in front of you patiently. As these colours will not be the same again.

Lets be patient and cherish the smile.

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Single child..

One of the major confusion with today’s generation is to find answer to this question, should they have a single child or two kids? Well i personally feel that in the current scenario later in the future single child will not be a problem at all. What i personally feel is that this situation will change in the same way as it has changed with the philosophy for girl child. People used to feel that if they have a girl child they should definitely go for another child and keep going till the time they have a boy. But things have changed and now girls are no less than boys and if a couple is having a girl child they are more than happy with it and don’t try to male child anymore.

Same way in the future single child will no longer be different. Having one child or more depends on lot of factors. How much are you involved with your child? how is your child? what are your desires for your child? do you want to have a second child? how is our financial condition? Looking at all the parameters i don’t feel that there is any harm in having a single child.

You have to develop a socially active child. Every Time you will not be around neither the sibling, but someone will be there. Your child should be able to mix up with that someone. We humans are social animals, we need people for our growth. In the form of family, siblings, relatives, friends. At the same time just see that your child is mingling enough with other kids. Be it friends or cousins, so that they get their share of ventilation. As after a certain age they will not like to open with you. So, they should be close enough with their cousins, friends to feel free and feel light. But at the same time be your child’s best friend, as the friends and siblings can listen them but they can’t guide them. But as a parent you can listen as well as guide them. So no matter how close anybody is to your you have to be the closet. Nobody can play your part. So, be the best friend of your child and let others be her friend.

We have to break the taboo that having one child is like doing something wrong with your child. You took this decision so that you can give the best to your child. So keep living up to your promise. Stop feeling guilty about this feeling. We are not doing any harm to them. What we need to focus on is to make them emotionally strong, to be independent.

Having a sibling is no shortcut to effective parenting it is only for their moral support. That moral support can come from you. And those who say they need a sibling when you are no more with them. I feel they will have their own set of responsibilities by that time. New set of people in their life to live with. Leave them to let them live not to feel worried.

Live the life the way it comes to you if at any point you feel your child needs someone, give it a thought. Otherwise you are not doing any crime by opting for a single child.

A child is a miracle, they are the most precious gift to us by the almighty. Give them your best, bring out the best out of them and let them be happy. One child or two hardly makes a difference according to me. What makes the difference is their confidence and happiness.

Lets peep inside our child a little and see where her happiness lies. Just have a look I am sure you will find an answer.

Good Luck.

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Now a days people emphasis a lot on IQ i.e intelligent quotient of the child, but what we need to consider is the fact that to be successful in life we just don’t need higher IQ we need a balance between IQ, EQ and SQ. EQ emotional quotient, SQ spiritual quotient.

It is a good sign if your child’s IQ is good but there is nothing to worry if its is not good. As higher IQ is not a sign for success in life. To be successful in life you need to be balanced, and balance comes in with balance of intelligence, emotion and spiritual well being.

Higher scale in any one of it is not good, if a child is highly emotional he can be depressed, if a child is highly intelligent he might become egoist and if a child is highly spiritual he might not be interested in the materialistic society. So it is our responsibility as a parent to nurture our child in a very balanced form. Introduce them to God, faith in him through stories, through daily rituals. Through your acts, so that he gets an idea that there is something beyond our control who is above all and who no matter what all we do will remain superior. Having faith in him in all circumstances and not being scared of him.

To balance his Emotional side, don’t let your child be too detached or attached to anything or anybody. You have to teach them to come out of situations bravely without cribbing, crying or feeling guilty. We have to teach them the art of even this shall pass. That nothing is permanent, everything is bound to change. They have to learn happiness, sadness are mere feelings and we need to keep our feelings under our control. Don’t teach your child to be a tough, teach them to be sensitive, toughness can sometimes break us down also. Teach them to enjoy in a group as well as alone. As someone might be there or not you will always have your company. Appreciate them but don’t overdo it as it is important for them to keep improving.

Help their intelligence segment by constantly challenging them with new things. let them keep exploring so they don’t become over confident and improve everyday. The whole idea is towards holistic development and towards maintaining the success not loosing it at any point of life. Regular check by parents in child’s life is very important, to give them a peaceful and successful life.

So, it’s time to check the IQ, EQ and SQ of your child. So, now next time if someone boosts about the IQ of their child ask them to maintain a balance in the other two sectors also. As balance can only let you enjoy all the fruits of life otherwise you will enjoy just one type of fruit.

Wish you Good Luck in getting the balance.

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School time….

I feel it is the toughest time for any mother to let go their baby in this unknown world to fight their battle. I personally feel it s the toughest time and decision for us to make. After so many hardships, research, sacrifices we come to the day when our tiny baby is no longer a baby but a toddler who is ready for school. God… time flies. I know how it feels as my baby is ready for preschool now. She will start her new journey from June 2015. It is a scary feeling to leave them all alone to struggle to find out what is right and wrong, be expressive and get your things done. How will their classmates be? How will the teacher handle them? There are several questions bouncing in the minds of preschoolers mother.

And above all this dilemma now a days there is another confusion which board to choose for my child, choosing a methodology for your child. So many different terms are floating in the air these days. Montessori, integrated, playway, multiple intelligence, sensory learning, IB curriculum, canadian study, Cambridge syllabus, ICSE, CBSE, SSC.

Well I have done a lot of research on it. When i say lot it actually means a lot, as people started to stop me on doing any further analysis on schools.

After all my hard work visiting the different schools seeing the different method i have finally concluded that there is no better or best school than your home.

First what you want you have to emphasis in your home, the environment, the learning process, because a child is learning every minute we cannot wait for them to go to school to learn. What we want we should start as soon as we can start. I strongly believe in the theory that 0-6 years are the best years. We parents have to ensure that they remain the best by giving a positive environment, choosing the right school, giving the right resources. If you are right then which ever school you choose will be correct. Because learning doesn’t happen at one particular place or time, It happens throughout life and everywhere.

Make your child curious, make him eager to learn. Let him be independent, let him explore. Be supportive. Subjects in the school are to show in which direction your child is leading. What interests him take cues from it and push your child in the right direction. Don’t waste your and your child’s energy on his weak points focus on his strengths. Set your goals straight and you are bound to achieve it.

If you have time to devote for your child, you are a stay at home mom, educated, any board , method is fine for your child. If you are working are not left with time send your child to any international school and they will take care of your child as they start slow and move according to child and they are very expensive so if you have double income and have less time it is a good choice.

Secondly if your child is shy doesn’t open up, picks up thing slowly send your child to montessori as they don’t have a deadline for finishing an activity. If your child is talkative, opens up, learns things fast you can send him to montessori or playway anything. Your decision should be based out of reputation of the school and distance.

Look at your child they tell us many things, but we adults ignore because we are short of time. Please take time out for your child. As he is your child but it is his future and his future relies on you. So observe your child, give them time and wherever they will go they will be happy.

Make them curious learner winning will follow them, don’t teach them to win teach them to learn. Because life teaches us new lessons everyday. If he is a learner he will always be happy.

Let children be innocent, let them enjoy, let them learn, above all let them be happy.

Wish you a Good luck for your child’s school time.:)

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Motherhood is tough but fatherhood is not easy too……

It is dream to be a mother for any girl and is a wonderful feeling too. We all hear people saying motherhood is priceless but we all have to pay a price as it is not easy. Motherhood comes along with its own set of compromises but fatherhood is not easy too.

We mother’s are paying a price for it but in return we get to see all the emotions, activities, pain, laughter but father’s on the other side due to the hustle bustle of life miss all the golden moments. By the time they come back child is tired and soon go off to sleep. We all are paying a price. Mothers by compromising on their career and father looking after their career. But  i feel it is too small a price to pay for mothers as you cherish these moments throughout your life. You don’t get second hand news from daycare or maid or in laws about your child. It’s you who are part of their memory. It’s you because of whom a child laugh, cry, learns and grows. It’s you a mother so enjoy motherhood as the time spent here will never revive, you will never get a chance to live the moment again.Children live only in the present they don’t know about past and are are unaware about future. So whatever they do they do it now they want to learn now, explore now and enjoy now.So be happy as you are lucky and aprreciate that even fatherhood is not easy. They work hard, miss on all the golden moments of their child be a support pillar for their wife. Be part of Wife’s hardships, scolding, postpartum depression. Trust me even fatherhood is not easy.

So let’s enjoy this beautiful journey of motherhood and be proud to be one.

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